The joy.

When I see/feel something my mind can’t stand, I pick up a drink and try to numb anything I might feel. Seems like running to numb myself is the only way I can cope with anything. It might be genetic. I inherited the bottle that makes me forget. At least for a moment I don’t feel shit but the joy of a good drink.

I keep my distance so I wont feel my heart ache. Seem like stepping away from you is best. Hoping for you to speak up is like waiting for the world to end. I won’t stand around waiting for you. I worked up my courage and made my move, made it bluntly obvious. If you can’t take a hint then its best I keep the distance I’ve made towards us. Good day.

Happy family..

I never thought that I’ll write about you like you were a stranger.
Never saw the day you’d turn your back towards me.
I honestly hate how things have turn out with us..
As I sit here thinking about everthing it brings tears to my eyes.
You were the one at one point in my life I would seek guidance from, now I cant even stand talking to you..
You’re my sister and you’re a stranger to me now.
I can’t recognize and stand the person infront of me anymore.
There’s hate in my heart for you instead of the love that once was there.
I hate how things have gone down with us, but I wont apologize for it either.
As much as I hate it I’ll never say sorry for reacting towards all the bullshit you’ve made me encounter with your selfishness and disregard for my feelings..
I’m done apologizing for small unimportant shit, when you sit there in silence allowing someone attack your own family then attacking me for defending myself.
I’m done playing nice with you.
Im done with you in general..
Blood runs thicker than water and you’ve forgotten that..
You’re no longer my family, just another shit person.
Go fuck yourself A.
I’ll never forgive all the bullshit you put me through..
Bye.

M.D.

Make me the nightmare you can’t wake up from and i’ll make you the devil.
Make me the liar and you’ll be my lie.
Your sweet devilish smile always charms me on your side.
This is why you’re the devil in my eyes.
Taking what you want is but most blissful.. but yet so sinful.
Oh mister devil!
How you caught my eye..

Why.

Everytime I actually start liking someone, they’re the only one I see.
I stop myself from others just for them..
But they turn out to be a disappointment..
Most likey why I run free most of the time..
Everyone’s to concern on sex that they blind themselves.
Sad really..
Disappointment isn’t new though.
Can’t wait for when someone actually surprises me.

..

You can go fuck yourself..

Fuck Off.

Yeah.

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RS6qQL5SnZk

I hope you know its about you.

Your words are stillborn.
You taught me how to hate someone.
Unknowing, maybe.
You act as if coming in and out of my life is fine with me, guess what its not.
Disappearing out your life won’t be so hard or the least bit painful.
Not like you really ever made an impression.
Faint memories that will most likely fade.
Just like you will.
I guess I’m use to it by now.
Leaving behind unimportant specs.
Pretending you never really existed in the first place.
Makes me giggle really.
Well good day, goodbye, and have a nice life.

Glad.

I hate.
I love.
I do everything.
I feel everything.
For no reason.
I just do.. Never understood why.
But the best thing about my feelings..
Its evolving.
Remorse and mercy are slowly fading.
Being rude and bitchy are becoming home.
Pretty glad they are too.