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Text Post Sat, May. 03, 2014 1 note

No point.

I feel as there’s no point in anything anymore.
Why do anything?
It all ends with our silent death.
Life has no true meaning.
Just a bunch of lies and bullshit.
Unnecessary feelings to deal with by those whom call you “friend”.
Wasting away your life to comfort people who will never truly do the same for you..
I hate that I’m too aware of everything around me even when I try not to see it and ignore it I can’t escape to see what really behold infront of me.
No one really gives a fuck.
To self absorbed to see that your little actions built up inside and hurt your so called friends..
But I guess I’m the crazy one for caring about me to right?
Life.. there’s no point in any of it.
Not even to the people who are suppose to make life a little worth living for.
Friends are an illusion.
I’m glad I see that I don’t need them.
I rather live in misery alone than with people who pretend to care giving false hope to the hopeful.
My hopeful brown eyes have been rejuvenated to see it’s dark world once again for what it really is..






Photo Post Thu, Aug. 22, 2013 1 note

As much i was wanted to hold on to you baby i couldnt.. I didnt want you to be suffrring for.my selfish need to keep you around I fucking love you my little baby. I’m glad i was there to say goodbye and say how sorry. i was to not be able to do.more for you. To some people you’re just a dog but to me you were more than.that you were my fatty my little babyish and I’m sorry baby i truly am sorry. I hope you’re happy up there and i hope leslee is taking care of you for now till i meet you.again so i could hold you again lay next to you and just tell you how much i love you my baby. I feel like my goodbye wasn’t long enough but i couldn’t hold you back anymore i couldn’t have you hurting anymore i just wanted you to.not feel pain anymore and i hope you aren’t. I love you baby i can’t say that enough and i won’t ill forever love you. I can’t wait to see you again baby run around with you and just hold you again :(
Goodnight my little fatty i fucking love you and ill miss you :’(

As much i was wanted to hold on to you baby i couldnt.. I didnt want you to be suffrring for.my selfish need to keep you around I fucking love you my little baby. I’m glad i was there to say goodbye and say how sorry. i was to not be able to do.more for you. To some people you’re just a dog but to me you were more than.that you were my fatty my little babyish and I’m sorry baby i truly am sorry. I hope you’re happy up there and i hope leslee is taking care of you for now till i meet you.again so i could hold you again lay next to you and just tell you how much i love you my baby. I feel like my goodbye wasn’t long enough but i couldn’t hold you back anymore i couldn’t have you hurting anymore i just wanted you to.not feel pain anymore and i hope you aren’t. I love you baby i can’t say that enough and i won’t ill forever love you. I can’t wait to see you again baby run around with you and just hold you again :(
Goodnight my little fatty i fucking love you and ill miss you :’(




I danced..

Dancing with you is like dancing with the devil..
Rolling the dice of i don’t know what the fuck might happen.
You instilled fear in every move.
Tip toeing around you with such grace that I was even convinced of a good time..
But it was all smoking mirrors of such a horrid lie..
But I chose to dance with the devil with the dice in my hand should of know better..






Sucks.

Sad to say that.now we pass by eachother as if we were strangers when once ago not to long ago you were like a brother to me..  I wont be sad over another lost friendship im done being sad over anything anymore.. Ill gladly hold the door open for anyone who wants to walk out of my life even if it is you Ill forever care for you but im done trying to hold on to anyone to whom clearly doesnt even care enough to bother asking if im okay.. I hope for you too.






Sat.

I sat and watched the world turn dark as I waited for your embrace..
I sat and watch death pass by telling me ill never be the same..
You beautified the thought of a new dawn day, with your words engraved in my brain..







Thats how you kool down ;)

Thats how you kool down ;)




The joy.

When I see/feel something my mind can’t stand, I pick up a drink and try to numb anything I might feel. Seems like running to numb myself is the only way I can cope with anything. It might be genetic. I inherited the bottle that makes me forget. At least for a moment I don’t feel shit but the joy of a good drink.







I keep my distance so I wont feel my heart ache. Seem like stepping away from you is best. Hoping for you to speak up is like waiting for the world to end. I won’t stand around waiting for you. I worked up my courage and made my move, made it bluntly obvious. If you can’t take a hint then its best I keep the distance I’ve made towards us. Good day.

I keep my distance so I wont feel my heart ache. Seem like stepping away from you is best. Hoping for you to speak up is like waiting for the world to end. I won’t stand around waiting for you. I worked up my courage and made my move, made it bluntly obvious. If you can’t take a hint then its best I keep the distance I’ve made towards us. Good day.




Text Post Wed, May. 29, 2013 2 notes

Happy family..

I never thought that I’ll write about you like you were a stranger.
Never saw the day you’d turn your back towards me.
I honestly hate how things have turn out with us..
As I sit here thinking about everthing it brings tears to my eyes.
You were the one at one point in my life I would seek guidance from, now I cant even stand talking to you..
You’re my sister and you’re a stranger to me now.
I can’t recognize and stand the person infront of me anymore.
There’s hate in my heart for you instead of the love that once was there.
I hate how things have gone down with us, but I wont apologize for it either.
As much as I hate it I’ll never say sorry for reacting towards all the bullshit you’ve made me encounter with your selfishness and disregard for my feelings..
I’m done apologizing for small unimportant shit, when you sit there in silence allowing someone attack your own family then attacking me for defending myself.
I’m done playing nice with you.
Im done with you in general..
Blood runs thicker than water and you’ve forgotten that..
You’re no longer my family, just another shit person.
Go fuck yourself A.
I’ll never forgive all the bullshit you put me through..
Bye.






M.D.

Make me the nightmare you can’t wake up from and i’ll make you the devil.
Make me the liar and you’ll be my lie.
Your sweet devilish smile always charms me on your side.
This is why you’re the devil in my eyes.
Taking what you want is but most blissful.. but yet so sinful.
Oh mister devil!
How you caught my eye..





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